Destitution

07 Turning Tides


Le-a enacts her plan to become Lord Mayor, Longears reveals he has been carrying a jar of piss for gods-know-how-long and the party decide it’s time to get into the construction business.

There we stood at the bottom of the Seacleft, the Lord Mayor’s mangled corpse at our feet. He looked like a pile of flabby, flesh rags. Luckily, the Arvensoar explosion had distracted any attention we might have gotten. Longears was insistent on raiding his corpse, upon which we received a Circlet of Persuasion, a Cloak of Protection and a silver ornate dagger. The dagger didn’t look like it would do much damage, and we got in a little it of a disagreement on what item we should each get. After putting on the Circlet, I used its magical powers to convince Longears to let me keep it for now. Before we left I grabbed the Mayor’s sash and put it on, the first step in an ingenious plan. Then we booked it back to Ordellia, not before stopping off at an inn for a celebratory drink.

Next morning we visited our neighbours, the Dwarven couple that used to run the Ordellia Arms. Longears pressed for information on Luma , but the Dwarven woman was more concerned about her contractors abandoning the project to work on the Arvensoar. Seizing an oppertunity, I told her I was also a contractor, and would get the inn built. She thanked me and I told her we’d discuss a quote the next day. I don’t know the first thing about building an inn, but I guess thats a problem for tomorrow.

Longears decided to track down Lumas residence, a fact he never thought to ask her previously. Whilst he was off at the Founder’s Archive, I decided to conduct my own little scheme. Travelling up the stairs to the entrance of the Pediment Building, I was stopped by two guards who were concerned at my Mayoral sash, reminding me that the mayor was dead. I told them that the mayor is not dead, she is stood in front of you. One of the slower minded ones fell for it, but luckily for me he was the higher ranking of the two. Must have been seniority or something.

Inside, I met a Dwarven receptionist called Brunda. Using my silver tongue, I managed to convince her to show me to my office. In a population of over sixteen thousand, I’d managed to convince three people I was now mayor: That guard, Brunda and myself. I was on my way to victory, hearts and minds style.

I was lead down a long corridor in which I passed many offices, including the head of the city guard. I had to be careful not to be seen, as many of the city guards had seen our faces at the Villa the night the Lord Mayor had died, and we were technically still wanted.

I arrived at a large ornate wooden door. Thick leather crept all over the woodwork like a vine, and the solid gold doorknobs stood out like apples on the leather tree. The door was locked, but for an adept thief such as myself it was no problem unlocking them.

Suddenly there was a movement in the shadows. I closed the door and ordered them to present themself. It was Valanni Krinst, the bumbling assisant to the recently deceased Lord Mayor. He asked me what I was doing in here, and I told him simply setting up my office. His look was priceless; he could not believe what he was hearing. I told him that I was taking over as mayor, and he was surprised I’d gotten as far as I had. Suddenly, Longears came through the door with news that he had discovered where we could find Luma. Valanni was gobsmacked, and told us we had to leave before somebody finds us. We ignored his pleas and started playing with a small clockwork golem in the mayors office. A quick look through the desk draws gave me the control ring. I told them my plan was to ride the golem out of the front door like a chariot, and Valanni told me it didn’t matter as long as I left. Then it dawned on me, so I asked him what he was doing here. The question caught him off guard, and when he didn’t answer I set the golem on him to pin him to the wall. The golem was a little rough and kind of broke his arm, which of course set the wimp off screaming. The corridor was full of guards or officials, I couldn’t tell, but I knew there were a lot of people outside that door, asking what was going on. I told them it was okay and to go away, but they persisted. I had to think fast, so I told them if they come in I’ll kill the hostages I had. Valanni told me why he was there in a brief moment we had and healed his arm with a potion.

The Captain of the Guard was pressing, asking me how many people were there, who was there, and if he could speak to them. I told him to go back to his office and he said he couldn’t do that. He was making small talk, but we knew he was stalling until backup came. I panicked, and told them that I had bombs planted around the building. I was really in deep now, I had two options: A) actually blow up the building, or 2) find a scapegoat. Going off what the racist barkeep last night told us, I quickly ordered everyone to write “Orkz Rool, Hoomanz Drool” all over the wall in ink. Whilst we snuck out of the back window, I told the guard I was going to blow up the building in 10 seconds and began counting down. We couldn’t have left a moment sooner, as a large fireball came flying through the double doors.

We headed up to Luma’s home where we were greeted by her father, Randred Derexhi, and lead to Luma’s bedside, where she was recovering from the beating of the previous night. Valanni confirmed his story that he was taking documents to release to the Council of Ushers in an attempt to reveal the dead Lord Mayor’s wrongdoings. As my previous plan to become mayor had failed, I convinced Randred to support me as a mayoral candidate instead of the merchant family they were planning on using. The plans were finalised with a drink of expensive whiskey and we headed home.

The next day was the Lord Mayor’s funeral. We showed up to make sure he was really dead, an assurance I regret not making with Linus. As the procession marched past us, people began throwing rocks at the guards and a riot was close to breaking out. I decide to creep out of the crowd and hide on a rooftop, out of sight but looming over Longears who was yelling abuse at the guards. Of course he was spotted as one of the murderers and the guards set upon him. From where, I dare not think, he removed a jar of urine from his person and threw it at a guard. The riots began escalating and the coffin was set alight. We decided to leave.

On our way back, we saw four rich kids beating an orcish family, blaming them for the changes in the past week. We scared them off, but one noticed the Mayor’s dagger which I had used to threaten him with. I let him go, as I wasn’t prepared to murder a man for acting on suspicions that I had helped instill. The orcs thanked us, and after a brief talk, the husband told us he was a bricklayer. We recruited his help in rebuilding the Ordellia Arms and returned home, weary after the past few days events.

All in all, a good job done.
Le-a

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